Dr. Craig S. Bruce, BSc(CS), MSc(CS), PhD

Everything you never wanted to know about me.

Family

I was born midthirtysomething years ago in New Brunswick, Canada, the second son of George and Marilyn Bruce. My twin sister, Crystal, was born two minutes after me. My older brother, Randy, was born two and a half years earlier. R.I.P. the late Niko (Labrador Retriever).

I grew up in Gondola Point, New Brunswick, which is a small village just north of the city of Saint John. I was fortunate enough to have great parents. My father has since retired and my parents now live in rural New Brunswick, in a (high-tech) log cabin that my father has built himself.

Edjamacation

I attended the following public schools: Fairvale Elementary School, Fairvale, NB (grades 1-6); Harry Miller Junior High School, Rothesay, NB (grades 7-9); Kennebecasis Valley High School, Quispamsis, NB (grades 10-12). I graduated high school with a 92.7% average in 1986. I thank the province of New Brunswick for what I consider to be a first-rate education.

I received my Bachelor's Degree in Computer Science from the University of New Brunswick, Fredericton, NB in 1990. I attended the Saint John campus of UNB for the first two years of my degree. For our final undergraduate project, a friend and I wrote a computer-chess program. I graduated with a 4.22 GPA (on a scale of 4.30, easily making me first in the CS class) and received all kinds of scholarships and awards along the way. This wasn't enough, so I went back and got my Master's Degree in Computer Science in 1992, also from UNB. My thesis title was: “Design and Implementation of an Instructional Operating System” (actually, a distributed operating system). Thanks go to my supervisor, Dr. David Fellows. An NSERC scholarship covered the cost of my Master's degree; thanks to them, too.

I received my Ph.D. in Computer Science from the University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario, in 1998 after full-time and part-time attendance. I was a member of the Shoshin Distributed Systems Research group and my thesis title is “Performance Optimization for Distributed-Shared-Data Systems”. Special thanks to my supervisor, Dr. David Taylor. Few people would likely believe this, but Dr. Taylor probably has the greatest sense of humor of any person I've ever known. NSERC gave me a scholarship here, too, but it ran out after a couple of years. This is the end of my formal education, but 24 years ought to be enough for anybody!

Employment

I work for CubeWerx Inc., which is a small Research & Development company located in Gatineau, Québec. My job title is “Senior Software Developer”. We're in the businesses of Geo-Spatial Data Warehousing and Web-services-based map making. I designed the company logo myself and it has a specific technical meaning. Here is my resumé for anyone who may be interested in dropping big bags of money on my head.

Interests

Computers, of course. Hacking (light-side) on computers for work and play. I have a Linux box and some olde-fashioned 8-bit Commodores. Also, surfing the net, TV, movies, science, education, investing money, audio/video equipment, rock & pop and 80's music, humor, psychology, sociology, social psychology, macroeconomics, politics, and meaningful conversation (not meaningless!).

His Royal Geekness

Yes, hacking on computers officially makes me a geek. I am a first-generation computer geek, from an era when geekitude was decidedly uncool, as opposed to the 2nd-gen geeks (or “neo-geeks” as I call them), with whom there are striking differences. My Nerdity Quotient is 56.80% (“Your social life needs some serious help”). My Geek Test result is “36.68639% - Major Geek”. My geek code (v3.12) follows. If you don't know what a geek code is, check the geek code v3.0 file.

GCS d- s+: a C+++ ULSO++++$ P L+++ E--- W++ N++ o? K++ w--- !O M- V-- PS+ PE+ Y++ PGP>+++ t++ 5+ X++ R(*/-) tv++ b- DI++ D++ G+ e++++ h+ r* y?

Personality

I'm very much the quiet type... or at least I used to be; I'm not sure where I am on the scale now; it very much depends on the situation. Anyway, my Myers-Briggs personality type is, not surprisingly, INTJ (“The Scientist” or “The Mastermind”) [90% I + 65% N + 85% T + 70% J] (the INTJ link can be considered a Craig Bruce User's Guide). This type gives me a rare combination of creative genius and mental discipline. I'm also a moderately shy person and extremely introverted (which are distinct qualities), so I often come across as being indifferent and unapproachable... which isn't really true if you get to know me. (As an introversion test, count the number of first-person pronouns in a person's writing. I know I use them a lot, myself.) You could also check Enneagram Type Five (5w1w4).

Q: What do you call an INTJ over 30?
A: “Doctor.”

I'm very smart, very analytical, and usually pretty ‘quick’. I usually laugh at a joke a couple of tenths of a second before everyone else does. I have an IQ of 141, if the online test can be believed. This puts my score at the 99.7th percentile and technically makes me a Genius. Woo-hoo! Another test said “Your Intellectual Type is Visual Mathematician. This means you are gifted at spotting patterns both in pictures and in numbers. These talents combined with your overall high intelligence make you good at understanding the big picture, which is why people trust your instincts and turn to you for direction—especially in the workplace.” This is quite accurate. My highest IQ-component scores are 156 in Spatial Manipulation Skill (i.e., “Seeing the big picture”) and 152 in Logic... cold, ruthless, brutal, tangy logic.

I tend to have very low-level understandings of things, especially computers, and this helps me out greatly in my chosen profession; I am an excellent programmer and I am constantly appalled by the lack of discipline of other “professionals” in this regard. I can also occasionally be a tiny wee little bit of a cynical opinionated egomanic.

I'm also surprisingly perceptive of people and their subtle behaviours for such a brutally logical person, though few people who know me would likely believe that. There is very little that I fail to notice. Keep in mind that I'm a scientist and people are a fascinating subject—observe, theorize, refine. But, sometimes it's fun to let people think that you are naive; it lets you get away with a lot.

Spiritually, I am a “soft” Atheist. This is the only thing that an intellectually honest person can be. I don't need any delusions about eternal rewards to make me want to do good things, and I have to question the character of anyone who does. (I suppose that most deeply religious people don't actually have a moral code of their own; they're absolutist authoritarianists who just do what they're told. I wonder if they will hesitate when their priests tell them to overthrow their secular governments. (If you listen carefully, you will hear hints of this every Sunday (or Friday or Saturday).)) When I arrive at the Pearly Gates, I'm sure that God will understand why I cannot force myself to believe a collection of fairy tails that are out-dated, inconsistent, irrational, and have no basis of authority other than they themselves claiming that they do. (Maybe this is the real test.) [And you might want to look a little more into exactly where these canonized fairy tales come from *cough* Emperor Constantine *cough*.] OTOH, the Flying Spaghetti Monster does offer some easy answers for children who never stopped believing in Santa Claus.

I'm also a single non-smoking able-bodied heterosexual white male. Perhaps one day this will give me special minority rights. Oh, and maybe I'm slightly narcissistic, which explains the existence of this web page. (Well, there is a pragmatic reason as well, as I am a difficult person to get to know, even if (*shudder*) one would want to. As Keirsey put it, “Please understand me.”)

Favorites

Favorite color: Blue, like 90% of other people. Favorite number: 32 (the indices of my initials in the alphabet, as pointed out to me by my father; also a nice round binary number and the ASCII code for SPACE). Favorite song: “Overkill” by Men at Work. Favorite album: Garbage, Version 2.0. Favorite movies: Star Wars (1977), Groundhog Day (1993), The Matrix (1999), The Iron Giant (1999). Favorite Star Trek episodes: Tapestry (TNG), where Picard dies of heart failure and meets Q in the afterlife and discovers that he cannot change the mistakes he made in his past without changing the man he is today; and Someone to Watch Over Me (Voyager), were The Doctor teaches Seven of Nine how to date and inevitably falls in love with her. The TNG scene where Data “busts up” the alien Grand Master at Strategema in Peak Performance is pretty neat, too (and very telling of the way I usually end up interacting with women who are interested in me. (Do I win the game if they forfeit by storming off in frustrated bitterness?)) Favorite current TV programs: House, M.D. (who is also the cuddly, loveable INTJ type), Dexter (psychopathic INTJ), and Doctor Who (INXJ). Favorite comic strip: Dilbert.

Favorite soft drink: Nestea Lemon Iced Tea or Canada Dry Ginger Ale. Favorite breakfast cereal: Frosted Flakes. Favorite type of cookie: Chocolate Chip. Favorite Unix text editor: vi. Favorite video game: Quake I/II/III. Favorite English words: excessive and overkill. Favorite Quake III Mod: Excessive Overkill. Favorite author: Andrew S. Tanenbaum. Favorite Book: The New Hacker's Dictionary. Favorite fictional character: Dr. Rodney McKay. Favorite quotation: “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.” — The Wizard of Oz. (Followed closely by “We are all free to choose the inevitable.” — C.S. Bruce.) Favorite song lyric: “You're a beautiful... / A beautiful fucked-up man” — Sarah McLachlan, Building A Mystery. Favorite part of the opposite sex's anatomy (other than the brain): Breasts (followed by Hips). Turn-ons: formidable women, outspokenness, moderate sassiness, women's business suits (with skirts!), women wearing glasses, women who ask men out. Turn-offs: people who abuse their limited powers, poor grammar.

Politics

Politically, I am a Centrist. That doesn't mean that I can't make up my mind about political issues—it means that I can! People who lean decidedly left or right on all issues are equally dogmatic to each other.

Issues: Freedom--yes. Fascism--no. Censorship--no. Abortion--yes. Gun control--used to be “no” but now “yes” (theory versus practice). Punishing the criminals rather than everybody else--yes. Capital punishment--yes. Permanent removal of all violent and career criminals from society--yes. Political correctness--no. Employment “equity”--no. True equality--yes. Newsgroup banning--no. Special rights for Québec--no. Québec separation--no. Official bilingualism--no. Universal healthcare--yes. Same-sex marriage--undecided, but really don't care. Organized religion--no. Hyper-sensitive harassment policy--no. Censoring children's TV programs--undecided. Censoring adult's TV programs--no. Multiculturalism--to a degree. Melting pot-ism--to a degree. Reducing the public debt--yes. Increasing taxes--no. Cutting government spending--yes. More strategically allocating government spending--yes. Revising history--no. Globalization--yes. Gwynne Dyer--yes. Legalization of marijuana--don't care. Legalization of “harder” drugs--probably not a good plan. Overthrowing bullshit dictatorships--yes, all of them!

The Diet Guru

I am also a diet guru. You should try the new “Dr. Craig Bruce, Ph.D. diet”. I have and it's very effective! In fact, it is guaranteed to work and you don't even need to exercise or change your food choice. I've lost thirteen pounds on it and I'm now only in the mid-160s range. It can be roughly summarized as follows: Eat Less.